Written during a particularly intense dark period, I debated on the wisdom of posting the following melancholy piece.  However, I believe that it is a culmination of our pasts and present that defines us as a person and who we are.  What would the world be without the morbidity of the dark to show us the beauty of the light?

Auribus tenere lupum

Plagued by uncertainty, afraid to let go for fear of total consumption of the fierce emotions swirling in a violent, torrential vortex within me.  Doubt, in everything I was…in everything I am…everything I may be, haunts my thoughts and dreams.  Dreams, once filled with hope, with promise, with light, are now entrenched with pain that screams across my soul.  Numbness is a bright relief unbeknownst, instead vivid slashing feelings cut across like a sharp vicious wind.

Auribus tenere lupum…

Not knowing if I let go, if I will survive.  But not letting go is not living, not thriving, merely existing.  Caught in the grey world of a purgatory of my own creation.  The journey is a long, winding, treacherous road that leads into the dark, endless night beyond the limits of my chains.  The unknown calls out, seeking the lost to be found again.  But even if found, will the lost be saved or be severed, splintered into a thousand pieces, never to be whole again.

Auribus tenere lupum…

Standing on the precipice, teetering over the jagged edge.  Gazing into the abyss that surrounds me, wondering what lies beyond.  Wondering if there is a light somewhere beyond the realm of blackness, or if there is nothing beyond the black, only the complete and everlasting silence, which surrounds the tormented soul unable to voice the internal scream which will not be heard.  Standing alone, arms outstretched to the emptiness.

Auribus tenere lupum…